Truth
by sparkle587
Summary: Just a little something about what happened after Clare walked away from Eli.  Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any part of Degrassi!**

Clare's nails bit into the rubber of her handlebars as she walked away. She silently fought a battle with herself _I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry_ she demanded of herself. But it was no use the words were stuck in her brain, _This isn't who you are._

As Clare reached her house she roughly rubbed the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater and walked in.

"Clare where were you?" her mother began. When she saw Clare's face she reached out to take Clare's hand and started to speak but was cut off as Clare jerked her hand back.

"You know what mom? You were right. Be glad you never took the risk. You probably saved yourself a lot of trouble." Clare announced before stomping p to her room.

Once upstairs Clare jerked open her door stepped inside and slammed it shut quickly to deter her mother from following. She fell into the chair at her desk buried her face in her arms and cried. She cried at the humiliation she felt because of Eli, the anger she felt at her parents, and the pain she felt at losing her best friend.

"God I wish I could talk to Alli" she sobbed into her arms.

She sat and trying to pull herself together and pulled her hands down her face. Clare felt the cool band against her cheek and put her hand in front of her. _Why do I wear this thing? What is the point? You made a promise to God ._ She silently answered herself.

_Yeah I promised. _She thought. _I promised to stay pure until I'm married. But my parents promised God to love each other until death parted them. Why do I have to keep my promises if they don't? Everyone breaks promises, now it's my turn. Eli doesn't want me, that's fine but I don't want this ring on my finger any more. _Clare pulled the small golden ring from her finger opened her top desk drawer and dropped in inside.

Eli walked back inside and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Who was at the door?" CeCe asked.

"I don't know." Eli answered exhaling a shaky breath.

"Well you were out there talking a long time to someone you don't know." CeCe returned with a knowing smile.

"Mom, I thought I knew her but I was wrong." he answered and began to make his way up to his room.

Eli flopped onto his bed and placed his ear buds in his ears. The sounds of Dead Hand filled his ears but unfortunately for him couldn't fill his mind. All he could see was Clare's soft face as she said "I want to be with you."

He couldn't deny the fact that his pants felt suddenly tight. _How could I turn her away? I should have let her come in, I didn't have to sleep with her. _He told himself but he knew better.

He knew if he had Clare in his room…in his bed…in his arms and those big blue eyes bore into him searching to feel loved he would have given in. He would have taken her and she would hate him for it. Just like Julia did.

He couldn't change what happened between him and Julia. The words returned to him before he could block them. _This is all your fault. You're such a fucking slut._ He had screamed at her. The picture of Julia's face as he said the hateful words he would never forget.

It was the last time he saw her face and it was twisted with tears. He had broken her heart with those words, he knew that, it had been his goal. He wanted to hurt her. But not Clare he didn't think her heart was broken he thought he had just bruised her pride. He planned to talk to her and make her understand.

Hell, if he had to he would tell her about the fight with Julia. _She may hate me if she knows everything. _He thought. _But that's better than hating me for doing the same thing to her._

Eli's eyes were beginning to shut. Sleep was overtaking him as he decided what he would say to Clare. Tomorrow.

**I hope someone enjoyed this. This is the first story I have written in a while. I thought it was time to shake of the dust and Eclare is such a love story how could you not want to write them! I'm deciding if I should add to this or just make a oneshot.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**~sparkes**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own anything especially not something as awesome as Degrassi!**

Eli was up early. The lack of sleep during the night did nothing to help him sleep late the next morning. He was showered, dressed, and ready an hour early. After arguing with himself for ten minutes he finally decided to go over the Clare's.

_What the hell am I going to do once I get there? _ He asked himself before brining Morty to life. He was sill wondering the same thing twenty minutes later as he sat across the street from Clare's house. He couldn't help staring up at what he knew was her window.

Clare stared at her ceiling waiting for her alarm to sound. Sleep had not been her friend last night and she felt it this morning. Her eyes felt gritty and swollen, her head throbbed with every beat of her heart, and her stomach was turning at the smell of breakfast being cooked below. BEEP BEEP BEEP her alarm clock finally blared. Clare pulled herself up and started down the hall to her bathroom. One look in the mirror told her she really did look as bad as she felt. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and decided that she looked a bit better although her mass of curls were a tangled mess.

Clare didn't even look up as she entered the kitchen opened a cabinet door, she pulled out a bottle of aspirin and spilled two pills into her palm. As she moved to the refrigerator poured a glass of orange juice and swallowed the pills she felt her mother's eyes on her.

"What?" she croaked turning to face her.

"Honey, you look awful." Mrs. Edwards stated.

"Well thanks Mom I love you too." Clare retuned.

"Clare, I'm sorry but are you feeling alright?"

"No Mom I actually fell terrible." Clare confessed.

"Why don't you just stay home today? There is so much going on right now and I know you are under a lot of stress I think you should just rest today. Take a long weekend and I bet you will be feeling like yourself by Monday."

Clare only had to think about it moment before agreeing. She had no test awaiting her today and knew she couldn't get too far behind in any of her classes after only one day. She kissed her mother's cheek told her to have a good day and went back up to her bed.

_Shit!_ Eli muttered as he slid down in his seat when Mrs. Edwards's car backed down the drive but luckily went the other way. _She thinks she is going to avoid me. _He realized after checking the time. _She____defiantly should have left by now if she is walking or riding that dumbass bike._ _That's it she is not going to ignore me. _Eli decided.

He got out of his car slammed the door and started across the road to the brick house. He stomped up the three steps angrily and mashed the button. Silence. He repeated his action harder this time. He stood listening, waiting. Still nothing. This time he held the button down and heard the awful noise it produced.

_That ought to get her moving_. He thought with a grin. Within seconds the door was jerked open and just as quickly slammed in his face.

"Clare, come on open the door." Eli called.

"Go away" came the muffled reply.

"Clare I need to talk to you. Let me in." No answer this time but he knew she had to be able to hear him so he continued. "You know how long I can stand around doing nothing. Don't forget I won concert tickets for being stubborn, I'll stand her all day." Eli stated with a grin.

"What do you want Eli?" Clare asked after holding the door open for him to enter.

"I just want to talk to you." He said reaching out to touch her face. Clare took a step back to avoid the caress.

"What would you like to talk about Eli?" Clare asked with a forced smile on her lips."Because in case you haven't noticed I'm not really feeling well today and was just on my way back to bed."

Eli had noticed her appearance. She was a little paler that usual and her eyes were red but she looked so soft and warm. She had on a pair of white shorts with polka dots in varying size and colors and a baby blue tee shirt that hung on her perfectly letting Eli know she didn't sleep in a bra. She looked so soft like he could bury his head in the material covering her stomach and just not move. His fingers itched to touch her and see if she really was as soft as she seemed. And her hair was amazing, it looked tasseled like she had been rolling around which to Eli was sexy as hell. He tightened his hands into fist at his sides as he felt a stirring in his gut.

"Did you come here to stand at my door and stare at me or did you actually want something?" Clare asked pulling him back to reality. "Because honestly Eli I think you made yourself pretty clear yesterday when I threw myself at you that there is nothing here you want."

Eli started to speak but Clare was too angry and too quick to allow it. "Its fine Eli, really I get it, you just can't get over Julia and now I realize that I can't compete with a ghost." Clare said looking at Eli with tears threatening to spill and betray her.

"Damn it Clare, you are not in competition with Julia she is dead Clare she's gone it's not like I'm going to pick her over you." Eli yelled and turned his back to her and paced over to her couch.

"Really because you had no problem sleeping with her and you obviously don't want me to take her place." Clare yelled back at him as she followed him into the room.

"Do you want me to treat you like Julia is that what you want?" Eli shouted but didn't wait for her answer. He closed the distance between them in 2 steps and before she could react Eli had Clare pinned against the wall. "I asked you a question." He stated as his body held her against the wall.

"YES!" Clare yelled in his face.

"Fine, you got it but I don't really think you're going to like it." Eli said with a smirk as he watched Clare's eyes widen. "You see Clare I wasn't always so good to Julia. When she was upset about things going on at home I took advantage of her." He began as he ran his hand up Clare's thigh and stopped at her waist resting his hand just under her tee shirt which happened to be just soft as he imagined but he didn't stop he slid his hand farther up under her shirt as he stared into her eyes. "She didn't ask me to stop but I didn't ask her if she wanted me to. I knew that she needed to feel loved and I wanted her. " Eli said as he roughly grabbed Clare's breast. He heard her breath catch. "Is that what you want Clare, to fell loved?" He asked as he leaned in began to run his tongue from her jaw line up to her ear where he softly sucked the lobe into his mouth.

Eli felt Clare slump and tighten his body against hers harder. "You see Julia felt just like you're feeling now Clare and I kissed her here." he said letting his tongue drop to her neck. "And here." He continued sucking on her collar bone. "And before she realized it" he said pulling Clare's shirt up "I had her begging me for it." His tongue circled her nipple and a little moan escaped her lips.

Eli pulled his head back up and again look into Clare's eyes. His hand dropped and he was suddenly rubbing Clare through her shorts. "I would make her say it Clare. I would make her say fuck me Eli". He whispered against Clare's ear. "I would make her beg me to fuck her."

Suddenly Clare was lifted and her legs were around Eli's waist. She could feel him pressing into the spot where his hand just was. Clare was speechless. She couldn't even think. Her body felt on fire and she wanted to burn.

"And then I fucked her, in my car, in restaurant bathrooms, in my room, I even fucked her in her parents bed." Eli continued while rubbing himself against her.

He told himself he had to stop or he would be making the same mistakes again. Before Clare knew what was happening the heat was gone as he tore himself away and stared at her. She was shaking, her cheeks flushed and she stared back at him unsure what to do or say.

She didn't have to say anything Eli decided to finish his story. "Julia came to me one day at lunch and told me she was pregnant. I didn't know what to say I just walked away from her. I avoided her the rest of that day and I didn't answer her calls that night. But I couldn't sleep so I went outside and was sitting on my porch when she came ridding up on her bike. It was after 1a.m. her face was red she had makeup smeared on her eyes."

Clare could tell Eli wasn't with her now. He was staring and she knew he was back at that night back with Julia. "She told me she loved me, she told me she was scared, she asked me what we were going to do. And do you know what I said?" Eli asked Clare with a harsh smile on his lips. "I told her it was all her fault, I called her a slut." Eli said as tears ran down his cheeks. "I hurt her. I wanted to hurt her. If I hadn't yelled at her or pushed her away she may still be alive. That little baby would have lived. I killed them."

Clare finally found her voice or horse "No" crossed her lips as she pulled Eli into her arms. He went into her willingly. He let her fold him in as he buried his face in her shirt and inhaled her scent. After a few minutes her took Clare's face in his hands "I'm not that person any more Clare. I don't want to hurt you. I can't take advantage of you like that. I love you Clare." He said in almost a whisper and then he softly pressed his lips against hers.

**A/N Okay, I'm so sorry that this took so long to get out. I was having a little block. But there it is I think I will do one more part to this story. I hope it didn't suck to hard! ~sparkles**


	3. Chapter 3

**I still do not own Degrassi!**

Clare stood there stunned Eli had just told her he loved her. He had said other things but they were erased from her mind with those three beautiful words. His eyes bore into her waiting for a reply. After a few minutes he dropped his hands to his sides a let out a heavy sigh.

"Well I guess I was right, you can't stand me now right?" Eli asked his eyes searching the ceiling.

Clare didn't say anything. She simply pulled his hands into her own and laced their fingers together. She softly placed her lips on Eli's.

Clare pulled back and smiled at the boy in front of her "I love you too Eli. Don't you know that? Don't you know that I could never want to be with you intimately if I didn't?"

"Clare yesterday you just weren't thinking straight. I get it. I don't want you to do anything to make you hate me later. Clare, you can't hate me. I need you." Eli whispered.

"Eli, I need you too. Don't you know me at all? I'm not speaking ill of Julia but Eli I'm stronger than that. You couldn't take advantage of me, I wouldn't let you." Clare said smiling softly.

She let go of one of Eli's hands but held the other tight in her own. "Let's go up to my room. I think there are some things we need to talk about."

Eli followed Clare up the stairs and into her room. He looked around taking in the very Clare like room. It was a soft blue color with hints of brown here and there, on the comforter, the rug and curtains. Eli searched for a spot to sit. He suddenly felt very tired. His eyes fell on a dark brown, fuzzy, round seat next to the window that he had stared at earlier. He cautiously slid into the chair not sure if it would tilt.

Clare went and sat at her desk opening the drawers.

Neither of them had spoken when Clare found what she was looking for. She got up and walked over to Eli. She dropped to her knees in front of him so she could look into his eyes. "Eli, I love you and when I made this promise I didn't even know what love was." She said holding her hand open.

Eli looked and in her palm lay her purity ring.

"Clare" Eli began but she cut him off.

"No Eli let me finish. When I made this promise I was 12 years old. I couldn't even begin to know what love was. Maybe I still don't know but I know that when I'm with you nothing feels wrong Eli. I want you to touch me, I want to feel your breath on my neck, I want you Eli and I know that it is right."

Clare looked up and Eli was staring at her. His mind was screaming as she stared at him waiting. _She wants this I'm not taking advantage of her. _ He realized. Without a word he lifted her under the arms and pulled her onto his lap. "I love you Clare." he whispered then softly pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft at first but when Clare tentatively ran her tongue over Eli's bottom lip and he was pushed over the top. His hands were in her hair, on her back, on her face everywhere. When he bit down on Clare's bottom lip she whimpered and that pulled him from his frenzy.

"Oh my god, Clare, I'm sorry." He said dropping his hands.

"It's okay you just surprised me." Clare said looking at his chest. "Will you f-fuck me Eli?" she continued without looking up.

"Don't say that Clare!" Eli yelled. Eli felt Clare jump and then tense up.

"I'm sorry I thought you wanted me to." Clare answered still unable to meet his eyes.

"Clare look at me. Look at me." He repeated pulling her chin up. "I don't want to fuck you."

"Oh" Clare replied softly and jumped off Eli's lap.

He stopped her by grabbing her wrist before she could open the door to her room. "I'm not finished." he said turning her to face him. "Clare I don't want to fuck you that could be done with anyone." He swallowed "I want to love you." he said cringing at how cheesy he sounded.

A smiled spread across Clare's lips and she stepped closer to him. "Then love me." she breathed and placed a kiss at the hollow of his throat.

Eli placed a kiss on her lips and this time he licked her bottom lip sucking it into his mouth. Clare ran her hands up his shirt and tried to pull it off. "We have all day baby. I don't want to rush anything." Eli said pulling her hands out of his shirt. He placed a kiss on each palm and fingered the gold ring Clare had slipped back onto her finger and looked at her questioningly.

"I just didn't want to lose it when I got out of the chair." Clare explained then tugged in off her hand. She took Eli's hand and looking at him with her bottom lip caught between her teeth slid it onto his pinkie. Eli laced his fingers between Clare's and kissed her again.

The kissing was fogging Clare's brain she didn't even realize they were moving until the bed hit the back of her legs. "Do you want me to lie down?" Clare asked unsure.

"Only if you want to." Eli answered breathing heavy.

Clare sat down and moved to the middle of the bed making room for Eli. Eli crawled onto the bed with Clare and gently pushed her back onto the pillows. He hovered over her. He kissed her nose then her cheek. He sat up on his knees beside her and pulled her first one palm and then the other to his lips.

"Can I undress you?" He asked softly while circling his thumbs in her hands.

Clare's face flushed red but she didn't hesitate and nodded her agreement. He let her hands go and kissed her cheek again. He moved his hands to the waist of her shorts knowing she maybe a little more nervous to lose her shirt with nothing underneath. Eli let his fingers dip into her shorts and slowly pulled them down. "Lift your hips for me baby." He coaxed and Clare obeyed. Eli's could hear his heart hammering in his ears at the sight of Clare Edwards laying before him in nothing but a tee shirt and white cotton panties with a little pink bow in the center. It was all he could do not to rip those sweet little panties off of her. He took a steadying breath, dropped the shorts off the bed and laid on his side next to Clare she turned to him and pressed her lips to his. Eli put his hand on her hip and deepened the kiss.

Clare felt Eli's fingers biting into her flesh but it didn't hurt. Nothing hurt she felt perfect. Eli moved his hand from her hip to the soft skin at the waist of her panties and ran it slowly up her shirt. He began to rub her back and his lips left hers and made their way down her neck. When Eli started to suck at her collar bone Clare's leg was suddenly on his hip and she had his shirt in a death grip pulling it.

"Do you want my shirt off baby?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes" she answered.

Eli sat up and pulled the black and grey striped v-neck over his head. But Clare wasn't satisfied she wanted the black tee underneath off too and began to pull it up. Eli began to laugh as he pulled the shirt off but it caught in his throat when he felt Clare's hot tongue graze his nipple. "Shit Clare" he hissed.

Clare immediately pulled back "I'm sorry. I'm I doing something wrong." she asked.

"Are you kidding me? You could do no wrong with that tongue." Eli said and smiled at the blush that spread across Clare's face.

They were now sitting on the bed again and Eli put his hands at the hem of Clare's tee. "Is it okay if do you?"

"Yes" she answered with a smile.

Eli pulled the shirt over her head and couldn't help staring and the beautiful sight in front of him.

"Kiss me." Eli said as his hands covered Clare's breast. Her moan poured into his mouth and Eli thought his dick would explode. He pulled his lips from hers and began a slow trail licking down her neck to the center of her chest. He pulled one hand away and behind her back to pull her closer as is tongue flicked across her nipple.

As he sucked her nipple into his mouth, Clare felt the fire coming again. She was burning up. She wrapped her fingers in Eli's hair holding him in place. After licking and sucking one nipple Eli soon switched to the other. Clare's hands never left Eli's hair.

Suddenly Eli's lips were back on Clare's. "I love you Clare." He whispered then took her earlobe into his mouth.

"Eli, I feel so hot. I'm burning up." Clare said pleadingly.

"Let me take you panties off Clare and I'll help that. I promise."

"Please." Clare panted.

Clare lifted herself from the bed again and let Eli pull the last of her covering off. Clare expected to feel embarrassed but she didn't she wanted Eli to see her but more than anything she wanted him to touch her.

Eli traced Clare's bellybutton with his finger then slowly ran that finger down her hip and started rubbing the top of Clare's thigh. Clare's hands were griping her soft blue sheets as Eli's mouth found her nipple again.

Clare felt like she wasn't in control of her body she knew she was making sounds that should embarrass her but it just felt right. When Eli slowly slid his finger into her she took in a sharp breath then he started moving his finger in and out. Clare pushed her hips up off the bed. "Oh my God Eli." she cried out.

"Clare it's okay. Just relax come on relax for me and let me make you feel good." Eli said into Clare's ear. When he felt her legs relax a little he add a finger and began to rub her clit with his thumb. The sounds were pouring from Clare, moans, sequels, but when his name passed her lips he almost lost it.

"ELI" Clare yelled out just as Eli felt her sweet juice fill his hand.

Eli pulled his hand from between her legs and began to kiss her closed eyes. "Look at me Clare."

"I can't." Clare breathed.

"Yes you can. Come on look at me." Eli coaxed.

Clare let her eyes open and saw Eli leaning over her. He smiled "Do you feel okay?" he asked as he absently stroked her stomach.

"I feel like I'm floating." Clare said with a smile.

"Do you still want to do more or should we save that for another time." Eli asked and kissed Clare's temple.

"I want to feel you instead of your fingers." Clare answered and ran her hands down Eli's back. She felt him shiver.

"Are you sure?" Eli asked again.

"Positive."

Eli stood up and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. Clare saw the small silver packet drop to the bed. Eli pulled his boxer briefs and jeans off at the same time then climbed back into the bed.

Clare felt nervous has Eli gently pulled her legs apart and sat on his knees between them. He leaned over her and gave her the softest, sweetest kiss they had ever shared. "If you want me to stop please tell me I love you so much I don't want you to regret this." Eli said staring into her eyes.

"I want this Eli. I love you and nothing we do will be a regret." Clare answered and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Okay, if you're sure." Eli reached for the condom and opened it. Clare watched as he placed it.

"Baby this is going to hurt I'm so sorry but It will be bad if you don't like it just say." Eli said he just hoped he would be able to honor that.

Clare only nodded with her bottom lip between her teeth. "Lay back and try to relax." Eli said and started rubbing Clare's stomach. When he felt her body relax beneath him he slowly pressed into her.

Clare felt a searing pain and when she thought it couldn't get worse Eli pressed into her farther. Tears ran into her hair as Eli continued to move inside her. "Oh Fuck Clare you are so damn tight."

Clare's soft whimpers broke Eli's heart he slowed down. "I can stop Clare. Do you want me to stop?"

"No I'm okay." Clare smiled up at him.

Clare couldn't say it ever stopped hurting completely but it wasn't as bad after a while and Eli's cries of pleasure were worth the pain.

"Oh fuck Clare." Eli cried out one last time just before he collapsed onto her.

Clare loved the feel of Eli sprawled over her and the she could feel his heart beating against hers.

"Eli I love you." Clare whispered into Eli's ear.

She felt him shiver.

Eli pulled himself from the warmth of Clare's body and propped himself up so he could see her face. "I love you too. I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone as much as I love you Clare."

Clare leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Eli's lips. "Thank you for making my first time perfect." Clare said smiling.

Eli laid his forehead against Clare's. "Well I try." he said with the smirk he knew she couldn't resist.

**Well that's it! Hope you liked. If so please let me know!**

**~sparkles**


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